People Are Sharing Their Go-to Psychological Tricks They Use On Others In Everyday Life (100 Pics)

The charm of the world around us is that it’s totally unpredictable. It puts us into the most unlikely, annoying, and challenging scenarios where we have to find our way through. And while some believe in luck, or lack thereof, others like to take matters into their own hands and use some pragmatic strategies. Like, psychological tricks.

And it turns out, most people have one ready when a particular situation strikes. From answering to “Why’s” in such a way that you redirect the question back to avoiding office small-talk so that nobody thinks you’re rude, to making yourself look like less of a self-obsessed jerk simply by replacing “I know” with “You’re right,” these are some of the biggest psychological tricks.

Shared in the comment section for the question “What is the most effective psychological 'trick' you use?” on r/AskReddit, some people seem to really know how to nail the mental game big time.

#1

Instead of asking, 'Do you have any questions?' I ask, 'What questions do you have?' The first almost always results in silence, while the second helps people feel comfortable asking questions.

Image credits: MediocrePaladin

#2

To avoid workplace drama and be liked, compliment people behind their back.

Image credits: Unknown

#3

If you look happy to see someone every time you see them, they will eventually be happy to see you.

Image credits: 2pass2

#4

Be direct and personal when you need things. Instead of asking IF anyone has an EpiPen, ask WHO has an EpiPen. Instead of saying, 'Someone call 911,' point to someone and say, 'Go call 911 and come tell me when they are on the way.

Image credits: Polyfkery

#5

Put headphones in and play the music that fits your hoped-for mood. It shifts me over to it mentally. It really helps when I need to calm down or when I need to feel happier.

Image credits: sunflowersfornudes

#6

I currently manage around 240 people among six restaurants. It is often hard to get them to do what is needed. I have found that saying, 'I need your help' is effective in getting them on board. People want to feel needed and that they are making a difference. Expressing that need to them as much as possible makes all the difference in the world.

Image credits: aaronmicook

#7

Saying 'You're right!' instead of 'I know' makes you look less like a [jerk] and doesn't diminish something someone else may have just found out.

Image credits: FantomUnicorn

#8

When you are standing in a group and somebody tells a joke or something funny happens, people tend to look towards the person they like the most while laughing.

Image credits: RiDDDiK1337

#9

My 4-year-old got into the 'Why?' phase a little while back. I read an article that said the best way to get them to stop was to ask them, 'I'm not sure, what do you think?' It is a godsend. They answer their own question, you provide some feedback, and they immediately move on. [Freaking] awesome.

Image credits: AD_Meridian

#10

When somebody shy is speaking, if you look at them and nod your head, it encourages them to keep talking.

Image credits: unknown

#11

When I do something bothersome to my husband and he goes quiet, I wait a few minutes and then ask him a seemingly innocent question, usually on the subject of how certain parts of a car works. This gets him talking about the car thing and he rambles for like five minutes, and then, bam! He’s happy again and not quietly brooding. I’ll never tell him I do this because I’m afraid it won’t work anymore if he knows about it. It’s foolproof, though; it works every single time, no matter how bothered he is.

Image credits: alskdjfhgtk

#12

Don’t say “it’s okay” when someone apologizes. Say something like, “thank you for apologizing.”

if someone needs to apologize to you, then it was something that isn’t okay. my mom teaches this to her kindergartners and it really does make a difference. opens doors for growth and conversation too. “thank you for apologizing, I don’t like it when you hit me.” or whatever.

Image credits: katiebugdisney

#13

On an airplane, if my seatmate is hogging the armrest or being too chatty, I grab the barf bag. Works every time.

Image credits: ab82bank

#14

If you hand something to someone they will take it. It’s a lot of fun

Image credits: surrrah

#15

If I desperately need to poo and I'm on my way to the bathroom (eg. driving home or walking to one) I'll imagine it in my mind as being really far away. This stops the urgency and I find I can get there calmly :-)

Image credits: Funny1sland

#16

Making people think that you need them is always better than asking them to simply do something for you.

i.e: instead of saying: "Can you do this for me?" you should say: "Listen I need you help; I can't do this."

Makes people feel good about themselves and even like you on a deeper level.

Image credits: Doctor_Philly

#17

At this point it's pretty well known, but Ive been using it for a few decades and has a special spot for me because I 'came up with it' (and was probably the 3 billionth person to 'come up with it').

Flip a coin if you cant decide something, and then follow whether or not you feel happy or disappointed with the result that it gives you.

Image credits: Erudite_Delirium

#18

I have a coworker who is an excessive talker. She has a heart of gold and means no harm whatsoever, but I don't have time to listen to her stream of consciousness every day. Anytime she comes into my office to chat, I give her a minute to get the gist out, and then I stand and walk out of my office. She always follows and continues yammering, and we walk right back to her cubicle. Sometimes I'll ditch her in the hallway under a guise of forgetting something at my desk. She hasnt noticed yet that I've been walking her back to her desk for months.

Image credits: Tycho278

#19

"Tell me about your day. " instead of "How was your day?"

I do it when I really want to chat with a person and not get the usual "It's been OK" then nothing out of them after that.

Heard it on reddit a while back and I am amazed at how well it works. You get some info out of the person that you can maybe relate to, or help with or share similar ideas/stories.

Image credits: Shuski_Cross

#20

Don’t apologise. Thank them.

When you’re delivering food that’s taken a while to cook don’t say “sorry for the delay,” say “thanks for your patience”

Saying sorry focuses on your fault. Thanking focuses on their good quality.

Image credits: Conchobar8

#21

I work in an office. When people stop by my desk and refuse to leave me alone, I get up and refill my water bottle while they are talking to me. Instead of walking back to my desk, I walk them to theirs. They instinctively will sit down. Then I just sever the conversation and get back to work.

Image credits: Electricpants

#22

My husband says, 'I will give you $50 if you hiccup two more times.' It works amazingly well — he's never had to pay me.

Image credits: toxik0n

#23

Thank someone for a trait you want them to have. Instead of telling a customer you’re sorry for the wait, tell them, 'Thank you for your patience or understanding.' Works wonders."

Image credits: Hasp3

#24

Say hello to everybody you know, and say it with a smile. Just imagine: If someone walks into you twice a year and both times you smile and greet them enthusiastically, they will think of you as a nice person. So little effort for a person to find you friendly!

Image credits: sjuulbakkie

#25

I work as a Creative Director. I have a lot of great clients, unfortunately with a few bad managers from their side. They usually go with the mantra of "If it's not my idea, it's not a good idea". I end up (sometimes) telling them about something Google, Tesla, Amazon, Samsung, Etc. is doing, and how we could try it. They jump at these ideas. The ideas are actually mine or my teams. Works like a charm.



Use this sparingly. Using it as an easy escape is not a good idea. It works, but know when to use it. If you use it all the time, it won't make you look any better. It will also allow people to be promoted who aren't capable of doing the job (pointed out by rutefoot [ Thank you]). Good luck everyone!

Image credits: usrnmtkn1

#26

If you're trying to pick out dinner with your partner, rather than ask, 'What do you want?' and getting the typical 'I don't know, anything' answer and then having suggestions shot down, start with, 'What do you NOT want? Used it a few times in some of my relationships, and it's the godsend question

Image credits: FartKilometre

#27

To deescalate a situation or someone who is prone to violence, address them at one or two emotional levels below where they are. For example, If their anger is at a level 10, then you should come in at a level 8. Being completely calm, reserved, and polite only pisses people off more because you 'clearly don't understand the magnitude of the situation. If they are screaming and yelling, you need to come in loud — while not attacking them, and agreeing with them (to a point). When you agree with their anger, they are more open to listening to you. Works pretty much every time, though there may be a little up and down in the middle. Just follow the person's lead, while always being a level below them.

Image credits: Cardfan60123

#28

If you need to deescalate someone and get them to communicate, ask them questions about numbers or personal information. I work in emergency services. If someone is totally distraught and shut down, asking their phone number, address, Social Security number, or birth date can pull them out of an emotional place and bring them back to a headspace where they can talk about what happened more easily. I often ask these questions even after I have the information, just to deescalate.

Image credits: Orpheus91

#29

When you're in an argument, find something to agree on, then push your main point.

Image credits: bobvella

#30

give kids 2 choices instead of letting them pick from whatever

you control.

could be 2 points of time. like "now" or in 10 minutes,

or do you want the red or the blue shirt on

things like that

works wonderfully. they feel in control, but have absolutely no control.

can work with some adults too

#31

I’m a professional poker player. When I am in a pot with one other player, I often try to make them laugh when they are thinking about what to do. If you can get them to laugh, it sets them in a mood where they are unlikely to bluff.

Image credits: Amo4sho4sho

#32

When my wife is talking to a man about something technical, often he'll talk back to me. When that happens I turn to face my wife, which forces his attention where it should be.

#33

I have to work with kids a lot, having a summertime “job” where I volunteer to assist counselors at a camp for service hours and having five younger siblings. DONT tell them not to do something. If I told you, “DONT THINK ABOUT UNICORNS!” you’ll immediately think about unicorns for the split second I say it. If I instead said, “THINK ABOUT TURTLES!” you’ll think about turtles for at least that split second I said it. Don’t tell a kid not to something, rather tell them to do something else. Instead of “Don’t hit your sister!” say, “Let’s play a nice game with your sister.” That way you don’t put the idea into their mind that you don’t want them doing it, which, in their childish manner, fuels the fire to do it more.

#34

When you’re talking to someone, they will naturally fill silence. It’s subconscious. If you want them to keep talking, keep your own mouth shut. This is useful if you’re ever in a verbal altercation.

#35

If you need to remember something, think about it while doing something noticeably unusual. This will pair the memory with the "something", so that when it is noticed later on it will trigger that particular memory.



e.g. I need to take out the garbage before going to bed.

Put your pillow at the foot of your bed.

#36

Listen to someone without giving advice or asking for more information. This typically gets me more information than if I were to be pushy about it.

#37

If someone says they have the hiccups, ask them to prove it. 9/10 times, their hiccups will disappear. Having to summon a hiccup in order to demonstrate will trick your diaphragm into just Not Hiccuping.

I've been able to twist it around on myself with some success as well, but it takes practice. You realize you have hiccups, then /try/ to hiccup. Actively try to make yourself do another one. It'll stop.

#38

When I have something important to say to my kids, I say it very quietly so that they listen. They're immune to my yelling, but whispering gets their attention.

#39

This isn't something I've used but I think it's worth sharing. Derren Brown said that once there was a muscley drunk guy that wanted to beat him up and said the classic "what are you looking at." Derren replied with "the wall outside my house is four feet tall." The idea is that it puts the aggravated person on the back foot and takes them out of that adrenaline filled state. Anyways he sat down and the guy started crying to him about his gf. He is Derren Brown though so I wouldn't recommend this to everyone

#40

This is dumb and shouldn't work. But I'm a bartender. And if I ask someone if they want another drink and nod my head at the same time most people are inclined to do it.

#41

I work with a bunch of idiot lawyers, and I use the phrase 'You’re correct' all the time. Even if it’s one teeny, tiny thing they’re correct about, it makes them feel smart and they instantly soften. It also keeps them listening because they’re hoping more flattery will come down the pike.

#42

When I first meet people I tell stories that involve other people talking to me or that involve an inner monologue. That way I can repeat my name in the story, as the other person has already likely forgotten it. This spares them the embarrassment of having to ask my name again.

#43

I psychologically trick myself into thinking my problems aren't that severe by simply avoiding them. It's been working for years!

#44

If I am panicking or close to it, I think 'I'm panicking, that won't help'. If I'm procrastinating I think 'I'm procrastinating' and it helps me stop. Basically by telling myself how I'm behaving, I can get a handle on the behavior.

#45

This could be considered me helping other people out, but I've found this trick when making the tea and coffee round in my work.

Lots of people in my office have disgusting amounts of sugar in their hot drinks (like 4 to 6 teaspoons) so I've started to make these peoples' drinks in red cups because people associate the colour red with sweetness and reducing the amount of sugar in their drinks to like 1 or 2. They haven't noticed yet and I usually make the rounds because apparently I make a 'good cup of tea or coffee.'

It's not evil and has no benefit really to me, I just like the fact I can trick peoples' sweet tooth. [Screw] you sugar.

#46

If I think someone is wrong or I want to directly confront them. I only ask questions. If someone is being a jerk and I say "You're being a jerk" I'm just arming their mental defenses against me. It's much more effective to act as curious as possible and be seen as someone trying to understand them.

Say someone cracks a mean joke "But it's not like you're gonna be lifting anything with /those/ arms." for example. You're much better off with. "Why did you say that specifically?" Immediately instead of being guarded against a judgement they are going to assess their behavior, understand they were being a jerk and it keeps you off their mental targeting system. Even if they ask something like "Why do you care?" You can just say "I'm just curious, I just don't know why you said that."

If you want someone to think the answer to their social math is 48 and you start screaming "It's 48!" they will just raise the mental walls. If they think you're trying to get them to think 48 whether it's right or wrong. The fact they're being told to makes them resistant. It's infinitely more effective to be along the lines of "I don't understand your math? How did you get this answer? What's this times that? That doesn't add up to me I thought it was this other number? What am I missing?" Eventually in their "Informing" you they will often deconstruct their own thought processes and confront their own behavior.

If I ever want to directly confront someone I do it this way. I've dealt with downright infuriated people who are /looking/ for a reason to turn things physical with me but can't justify hitting me for just being aloof and trying to understand them. Don't supply the ammunition that they shoot you with. Be kind, curious, without overt judgement and willing to disengage if they express they don't want to interact (This is them backing down from you. Don't aggress them further or you're gonna give them enough justification against you.)

If you want to be untouchable but not passive, it's done through to control of others perception. They can't act against you if they can't see you as an enemy. Lot's of men put on airs of "Don't [screw] with me." but the air of "You can't even imagine [screwing] with me." is a lot more powerful and yields much greater social results. Obviously this technique isn't gender exclusive. I just find more men to project that insecure air of "Don't [screw] with me."

If you're condescending, you're giving them ammunition. If you're overly aggressive after they've opted out of continuing, you're giving them ammunition. If you're curious, respectful and genuine to those who you've targeted to approach about something you don't like that they do/are doing. You're [unscrewithable].

Literally my favorite psych trick and enjoying the satisfaction of directly confronting someone belligerent with the right line of questioning and having them be the ones to disengage or even thank me for the conversation is so satisfying. They get fresh self generated insights, I get better at confrontation. Win win.

Final note: Don't ask obviously leading or hostile questions: "Why are you being a jerk?" "Why don't you think before you act?" "Why do you talk over other people?" These condescends will get you on their mental targeting system. The whole concept is "I don't understand this, can you explain it to me?" Then watch them crumble under the weight of their own understanding.

#47

This will get buried but when I quit smoking I left one cigarette in a pack in my car. I called it my “last cigarette.” I never told my self I was quitting. I was going to save my last one for when I really wanted it. I was a pack a day for 10 years and I’m 4 months smoke free this month. I still haven’t “quit.” I’m just saving my last one.

#48

I talk extremely loudly and pinwheel my arms around whenever I am in a social situation with someone. It subconsciously signals to them that I don't want to be talked to. 75 percent rate of success.

#49

Saying 'thanks' instead of 'please'. We got taught this in teacher's college. For example "Put your phone away please" makes it sound like they have a choice or you are waiting for a reply. "Put your phone away, thanks" makes it sound like they don't have a choice and you have already finished the conversation so they are less likely to answer back.

#50

My trick is to be fair and patient with everybody and people tend to react well to it

#51

When I am too lazy to go to the gym I use this one :

Basically I try to convince my mind to do everything step by step.

"you don't need to go to the gym just pack the gym back" "you don't need to go to the gym but just get dressed" "you don't need to go to the gym just walk to it" ... And so on

It sound really stupid but somehow it works for me

#52

My SO suffers from OCD so I've learned to accommodate that, especially when we plan trips away from home. Did we lock the door? Yes, remember I did jazz hands in a circle after? Did we turn the stove off? Yup, you watched me sing twinkle twinkle little star while I did it.

Doing something really unusual to help trigger a memory for something you do regularly helps them calm down and not obsess over that thing. Helps you be more confident assuring them you did the thing. Protip: don't use this often or the memory tricks wont be as helpful. Save it for when you know you'll need it.

#53

Live in boyfriend grew up really rich (life long housekeeper, I'm now the one responsible for cleaning up after him apparently) and aggressively insists on using a bath towel only once. This requires me to do an insane amount of laundry (annoying plus horrible for the environment). I secretly just put them back in the dryer after he uses it, refold them and put them back on the shelf. He has no idea he uses the same towel 2-3 times before I wash it (its wasteful to do so many loads of laundry).

Also I do a similar thing with bottled water (he insists on only drinking Fiji water yet leaves half empty bottles everywhere and throws them away). I refill the half empties with tap water and put them back in the fridge. He's been drinking them for months no problem (has no idea). Am I the jerk?

#54

Whenever I'm walking through a crowd, I always look at my destination while being aware of my peripherals. Most people will pick up on your body language and avoid running into you. Just don't forget to keep an eye out for rude people who will run right into you because they were too busy oogling their phone screens.

#55

Reverse psychology my man.

I was i middle school when two girls one cup came out. I was the first one to have watched it. I wanted to tell people so badly but wanted to preserve my innocent and wholesome image just because. So I walked to class the next day and told my friend.

“I’ve heard about “two girls one cup,” don’t watch it it’s disgusting.”

And that’s how this whole school from a remote country knows in the span of a day.

Tried this trick several more times in things I want someone to watch or know but don’t want to be seen as too pushy or seen as a pervy girl, ranging from cyst popping videos to tentacle porns. Could’ve used my trick for something better for humanity but oh well.

#56

If you want to immediately build a positive first impression with either a stranger or a potential work acquaintance, then start by giving them a sincere compliment. You can pick something they wore or something they're doing but the rules are:

a) It should be something they obviously value: a personalized watch, taking care with their make up, maybe a skill they are doing, something they obviously put thought into



b) It should be a sincere compliment: people can tell when you're telling them their crazy hat looks good when you think it's over the top.



c) It should be specific and preferably relate to their character or values: Stranger: "Hey, I really like that T-shirt you're wearing, that graphic is so interesting..." Colleague: "Hey, thanks so much for that presentation! I really enjoyed learning about..."



d) You should have an open ended follow up that invites them to talk about themselves: Stranger "...Isn't that graphic from that new TV show? I haven't seen it yet." Colleague "Could you tell me a bit more about how relates to "



Yes it's social engineering. It works, use this power for good m8y.

#57

When someone won’t shut up ask a related question by it has to be closed. It’s simple but effective and gives you a chance to get a word in edgeways.

Blah blah blah blah blah trees Oh right is that the new oak one? Yes Nice. So back to what I was saying

#58

If someone has a verry different point of view from mine, I will first assure them that they are correct and their perspective is understandable.

Example: "I used to be like you and I hated brussel's sprouts. The taste is pretty intense and can smell a bit foul-ish."

In the second part I will then introduce my point of view: "You can get used to the taste though, especially when you cook it right, with a lot of butter and breadcrumbs. Maybe I can try and cook it for you one day and you might like it then."

People are a lot more open, if you take their perspective first. Doesn't work every time. Works often.

#59

Use 'what's the reason for' instead of 'Why' asking why pisses people off

#60

If I really want my wife to listen to something, I'll say "Hey hon? Did...ah, never mind. Not important."

#61

If I want someone to do something, I never say "please", but always use "thank-you". It makes people obey because you've pre-empted their obedience by thanking them for it. To disobey your request usually makes them feel childish, so they avoid that . I.e. "Can you sit down please" Vs. "Can you sit down, thank you". Learnt it in a verbal judo course and it has never failed me.

#62

I learned this at work since I’m in a tight F500 environment:

When you don’t want to be questioned, end your sentence with “right?” but be sure to avoid upspeak and it will come off not only confidence but incredibly persuasive.

#63

Agree with someone when they expect you to disagree, even if you don't mean it. Then you act like the idea sucks, and you're coming to an epiphany.

#64

I’m an intensely private person (not that many people realise) When in conversations I get asked about myself, I give a one word answer and then ask them about things in their life. I’ve found that people love to have the conversation revolve around themselves. Works for me.

#65

This is in regard to the mind and the body I guess. Also on mobile so apologies for any weirdness.

I am an incredibly clumsy person. I manage to walk into things on a daily basis and used to always drop things too. Knocking glasses off of tables was almost a daily occurrence.

I wanted to try and fix this, so I was ran through a lot of solutions before I settled on one. It was actually really simple and it totally changed my perspective on things.

In the event of knocking something over or dropping it, I thought “if that happens, don’t think, act.” As in, don’t even process what’s going on - physically move to ensure you save whatever it is you dropped.

And it actually worked! I have genuinely managed to catch empty glasses after I knock them off the table because I don’t allow myself to think, but instead just allow my body to act. I’ve saved coins going down drains by stepping on them before my brain registers what’s going on, and have even caught things like hats and wallets that people drop in public BEFORE THEY EVEN HIT THE GROUND.

I was honestly in disbelief not only at the fact it worked but because it seemed like such a simple solution. Takes a bit of getting used to but it’s so awesome.

#66

To become a better listener: When a person is telling you a story (or whatever) , imagine that you will have to retell it afterwards. This helps me keep my focus and ask good questions to really understand what happened or how it made them feel etc.

#67

How to get a room of people to quiet down before you give a speech/lecture

Use this trick when you are trying to get an entire crowd to stop talking and pay attention.

1. Stand confidently at the front of the room. NOT at the podium. Holding nothing in your hands.

2. Look like you are ready to begin. Do NOT talk to anyone or fiddle with any presentation materials. Just stand still.

3. Without fail a few people in the crowd will get quiet and look your way. Make eye contact with each them so they know you're ready. Then watch as the silence spreads like a virus.

4. Do NOT resort to asking for silence. If there are lingering talkers then stare directly at them in silence. Give them the impression that they are inconveniencing the entire room with their chatter. The embarrassment will shut them up quick. If not, someone in the crowd will shush them for you.

I have never had this method fail for me. This was most useful when I was a teacher but I still use it all the time in my IT job or personal life.

This also works well to silence someone who starts talking in the middle of your lecture. Just stop and stare at them until they get the hint. When they notice you staring they usually get quiet. If they were being particularly rude you can ask them "Are you ready?" after they quiet down.

These days I go to a lot of board game club meetings where I have to teach complex board games to semi drunk people. This silencing method is very effective against them as well.

#68

Foreword: effective doesnt necessarily mean useful. But i'm proud of this nonetheless.

I work professionally as an animal trainer (for wildlife shows etc) and do little conditioning experiments on my family and coworkers. My favourite was when I trained my sister to "shake" a few years ago.

We were sitting in the back seat of a car on a long road trip and I put my hand on the empty seat between us, with the palm facing upward. Nothing too weird and I just did it mid-conversation so as not to draw attention to myself. After a while her hand would inevitably brush mine, at which point I'd give her a compliment. Rinse and repeat slowly over time, constantly changing the reinforcer so she doesnt catch on (sometimes it was a compliment, sometimes it was a lolly, sometimes I'd just pitch the idea of a shopping trip, etc), shaping the behaviour from a light touch, to a touch on the palm specifically, to a flat hand on mine. Always in a high-distraction environment (car trips were good because I could direct her conscious attention out the window).

It got to the point that she'd instantly, subconsciously put her hand on mine as soon as it was subtly offered. She eventually caught on and would have to try to actively stop herself, often snatching her hand away abruptly.

It's been 4 years and to this day, if I put my hand out, she'll instinctively go to touch it, no matter the scenario.

#69

I pretend to be really bad at lying so when I do have to lie it is super effective.

#70

When I’m doing backcountry hiking patrol in a wilderness area I’m supposed to keep an eye out for people with dogs, which are not allowed. The ranger taught me to ask any dog walkers, “Are you looking for somewhere to walk your dog?” That gives them the chance to pretend they didn’t know about the rule (signs posted of course) so they don’t lose face. Then I give them a brochure with dog-friendly trails.

It’s a brilliantly nonconfrontational technique, and I use it in other parts of my life.

#71

When somebody shy is speaking, if you look at them and nod your head it encourages them to keep talking.

#72

My wife calls this the simplest most manipulative thing i do.

Whenever I bump in to an acquaintance (meaning not friend, just a person i know) I of course say hi and the conversation goes like this.

Me: Hey! How are you name? You look good!

Them: laugh Thank you, I’m good how are you?

Me: I’m great, i’m on the way to wherever i am going to at the time and I tell them why too. So what are you doing here?

Them: Go in to same detail to tell me where they’re going and why

Me: Alright, well I won’t keep you up any longer then I have, have a good day name!

It leaves people feeling good, takes away the awkwardness of cutting a convo short and it makes them want to leave.

#73

Playing dumb gets you out of a lot, but not too dumb

#74

Anyone here reading through the posts for the sake of using them in the future, but an hour later you forget everything you've just read?

#75

I can't remember. My wife's a psychologist and I lost all my super powers of manipulation of time and space.

#76

Instead of arguing I start off by agreeing and then state my point of view after addressing the other persons point. Always ends in a positive interaction. Edit: The idea is to show respect for what the other person thinks. Assuming that the person isn't a complete moron, they more than likely have a valid point. Rather than shutting the person down and telling them they're wrong you listen to them. Then after hearing them out you can bring up you're own point of view. The goal is to have a respectful exchange of opinions rather than a flat out argument where two people flat out don't agree with each other and leave each other without learning anything from one another.

#77

When I ask someone a question and their first response is “what?” ...I just stare at them for a few seconds, and 99% of the time they answer my question without me having to repeat myself. I think it’s just a subconscious reflex people have to ask “what?” Instead of answering what you’ve asked even when they’ve heard you clearly.

#78

Think of my future self...

How will my future self feel in an hour or two if I skip my gym session?

Will my future self be happy if I do this pile of dishes now, before bed? Or would he prefer to have to do it in the morning, before work?

I have a three month deadline on this project, will my future self appreciate my current self taking the first three or four weeks easy, or will he be really pissed off?

...essentially delayed gratification. Pretty much all the bad stuff gives us instant gratification, while all the good stuff has delayed gratification. I always try to remember that - if I have to wait to reap the rewards then it's probably the best option.

#79

Whenever I know somebody is holding some truth from me, I'll look at them and stay silent - no nodding, no acknowledging - just looking. The silence usually brings out the truth or extra detail. If they squirm around a bit you know there's something they have exaggerated etc.

#80

When you need to find out a name eg for a lead, you say ‘Oh is John still managing up there?’ They go ‘no it’s Mark now.’

Works with anything, just use a fake. ‘Is that your focus outside?’ ‘What? No mines the Ferrari.’

#81

Set expectations low and blow peoples minds with my mediocrity.

#82

I used this technique at University where I couldn't stand the thought of having to answer questions in front of a group of people. So if you find yourself in a group situation where someone (a leader, tutor, manager etc) is asking questions that must be answered and you want to avoid being picked so that you don't have to talk, then here is my tip. If the person locks eyes on you as they ask the question, then just as they are about get to the end of their question you break eye contact and look towards another person in the room and hold it. Their attention is diverted to that other person just as the question ends and the person they are now looking at feels compelled to answer. If however the person starts asking the question while looking at someone else then look at that other person and hold it so you can't get suckered. Use it sparingly because if you do it enough on the same person, they will be on to you.

#83

Smiling.



Smile at the bartender, they'll be more likely to come to you quicker. Smile at your colleague in the morning and they'll be more open to the request that you've got for them later. Smile at your kids and they'll feel loved. Smile at your partner and they'll wonder what they've done that's made you so happy. Smile at me and I'll smile back and we'll both feel great for a few minutes. Smile at everyone when you meet them, smile in a job interview, smile at the shop worker, the binman, the postman, the random dog walker in the park, the person who nearly bumped into you on the street, the barista, your teacher, your mum and your dad. Smile at yourself in the mirror and give yourself a cheeky wink.


Writing 'smile' is making me smile. And I feel great now so I'm gonna go and get a sandwich.

#84

I ask small favors and publicly thank people for their help, recognize their contributions and genuinely appreciate them.

Nobody ever noticed that I also stopped coming in on Friday’s about 18 months ago

#85

When I want someone to like me more, I'll ask them to do me a small favor. Psychologically, people will often convince themselves that they like you as a way to justify their investment in a favor or the expenditure of energy in your behalf.

#86

Have a toxic person you need to try and get through to without calling them out directly and risk bearing the brunt of their meltdown?

Tell a story about how some "annoying idiot" behaves in a certain manner (citing the toxic person's behaviour here) and how frustrating / pathetic / lame etc. it is. The toxic person's ego will take over and they will tone down that behaviour. Works like a charm. Also, it's safe, because they're narcissists and couldn't fathom that their behaviour is frustrating, so they won't make the link and figure out what you're doing.

#87

If you're looking for an answer to something on the internet, don't form it as a question - do it as an ill informed response.

Example:

Don't ask "What does 2+2 equal?" No one will bother to respond.

Instead, say with confidence that 2+2=5. You'll get hundreds of comments correcting you, the highest upvote likely the best answer.

#88

Personality mirroring

#89

At this point it's pretty well known, but Ive been using it for a few decades and has a special spot for me because I 'came up with it' (and was probably the 3 billionth person to 'come up with it').

Flip a coin if you cant decide something, and then follow whether or not you feel happy or disappointed with the result that it gives you.

#90

I work front desk in a medical office. Patients hate updating their paperwork. I used to say, “look through the pages and make any changes.” They would groan and reluctantly take the paperwork, or just complain about it. Now I say, “ALL YOU HAVE TO DO is make changes.” Saying it that way makes them think it’s not much to do and they take the clipboard without complaint. It’s the little things that make life at my office easier

#91

I have chronic pain and interact with a lot of medical offices and staffs. I’m pretty sure this would work for most people.

If I need someone to go above and beyond, but it’s still in their control to help me, I usually say something like “Hi, this is X. I’m a patient of Dr. Y. She asked me to do Z and I could really use your help. It’s probably below your pay grade, but could you help me [last-minute or difficult request].”

I don’t know when I stumbled into that wording but when you treat people like they’re important and knowledgeable, they often over-deliver.

#92

I'm not sure this counts as a psychological trick, maybe more of a mindset change, but I'll share anyways:

I regularly get bored and play video games for hours, or resort to wandering around the kitchen looking for food I wasn't even hungry for.

Now, whenever I get bored, I try to force myself to do something productive. Whether that be washing a few dishes, playing with my cats, taking a shower, go for a walk...you get the drift.

It's helped with my depression a bit, because I feel like I accomplished something rather than just sitting around boredom eating.

#93

This is really not too original, but I’ve seen the wonders positive enforcement does on people’s motivation.

I teach English to university students. Many of them are in there just because they must and consider learning English a waste of their time. They’re usually my worst students. When I give them feedback, I usually heavily stress what they can do already, and congratulate them on their improvement, even if minimal, before telling them the mistakes they had.

I do this with all my students, but with those who are particularly dismissive I take extra care to let them know what they’re doing right.

Some people jumped from hating the language and being terrified of making mistakes to being some of my most proficient students. Overall, each of them showed considerable improvement and engagement in class.

Never letting that one go.

#94

When someone starts making fun of you, you make fun of yourself in a more clever way. If the person is doing it for attention, it wrestles the attention away from them if you're more funny then they are and gives them negative feedback towards making fun of you going forward. It doesn't always work because some people do it purely for self enjoyment, but at least it will be clear pretty fast that the person is a [jerk], which comes with it's own social drawbacks. So in the end the person has the choice between getting outdrawn or looking like a bully.

#95

When someone is being rude during a conversation with me, I consistently flick my gaze toward their forehead or chin and watch the confidence seep from their face after about 10 seconds.

#96

If I'm having a conversation that's a bit difficult, or I don't have a lot to say, then I'll repeat the last word or phrase that the other person said, with a slight tilt of my head, as if I'm rephrasing it as a question.

Virtually all the time, they'll expand or elaborate on what they said previously, and then move on to something else too.

I can keep a whole conversation going just by doing this, but a lot of the time it'll also help the other person to open up and they'll feel like they've been able to have their say.

Sometimes it's useful when you don't give a [damn] and can't be bothered with the conversation, but don't want to be rude. However, it's also very useful when you do want to hear from someone, and genuinely want them to share something. So it can be used for both good and evil.

#97

If a child tells you they're afraid of a monster in a closet, instead of telling them there is no monster, ask them to describe the monster and what they think the monster is doing there in the first place. Then ask how to get the monster to leave. It will help them alleviate their fear far more effectively than instinctively trying to tell them there is no monster.

#98

Two tricks I use for myself:

1. This one’s inspired by the show Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Basically if I have a difficult task, I tell myself to just try really hard for 30 seconds. 30 seconds isn’t much after all. I can literally hold my breath many times longer. Once that 30 seconds is up, I reset and tell myself to try really hard for another 30 seconds. I mean, it’s just 30 seconds... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xSX3KG1hisk

2. Another thing that helps when I have a long task is to visualize myself being already done with the task, and pretending that what I’m experiencing is just my future self reminiscing. It’s kind of trippy. Reminds me of the movie Arrival

#99

When writing a reddit comment or even a normal comment do not write it in big unstructured paragraphs.

Always break it down into tiny paragraphs. It will psychologically be a less off a hassle to read and people would go through it rather than not.

Also always use a Tl;dr

#100

I grab the barf bag on the airplane whenever some is hogging the arm rest or to chatty. Works every time.

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